Should I inform a co-worker friend of her husband’s infidelity?
Should I inform a co-worker friend of her husband's infidelity?
I
was just thinking about this co-worker friend and her husband’s infidelity as I
sat here waiting to get vaccinated (for
my booster shot) and started questioning myself…
Do
you tell your co-worker friend that her husband is having an affair? You’d
expect that, right? As true friends, our allegiance is to our female
companions! There was no reason for her to learn it from someone else. Telling
her isn’t going to be easy.
Even
if she has reason to believe he is having an affair, she should not reveal this
information. So many factors needed to be taken into account that I had to sort
them.
This
is a highly personal and vulnerable situation. If you ever find yourself in a
situation like this, make sure you respond appropriately and with the correct
perspective.
You may end up gossiping or being called “Marites” in your office. As a result, we must exercise extreme caution when giving or sharing information that lacks sufficient evidence.
Remember
that gossiping or intriguing against honor is punishable by imprisonment
of arresto menor or a fine of not more than P20,000.00 with the
primary goal of damaging a person’s honor or reputation.
Now,
when is the right time to tell?
Don’t
hesitate to tell if your friend is a member of your inner circle. We can always
rely on these people to be loyal friends with whom we can share our deepest
thoughts and aspirations. They provide us with the emotional support we need.
These close friends are aware of your affection for them and your pledge to
never intentionally harm them.
The
information you have may influence your decision on whether or not to speak. The
mere fact that her husband was seen having lunch in Annipie restaurant with
another woman or saw them at their meeting place at Phoenix Gasoline Station is not sufficient evidence of infidelity.
It
might be different if you saw him with another woman inside or outside Oh
George! Drive Inn. In time, you’ll find out.
When
is it appropriate not to tell?
In
the event that your friend isn’t one of your closest associates, you’ll want to
pay attention to their relationship with you. Your knowledge of her private
life is limited.
For
example, we spend a lot of time with our co-workers and even share details of
our private lives with them occasionally. They know everything about us. We’re
not always able to. We can’t ignore the significance of our relationship with
that person. How close are you to one another? We don’t know if she is going to
believe you.
To
be safe, only share information if you’ve established a degree of trust or
closeness with your recipient. In the eyes of someone who doesn’t know you on a
more personal level, you may seem dishonest to them. If you tell them, your
relationship with them could be permanently changed.
There
are some rules that might make sense in this situation, so I’ve listed them as
“Do’s” and “Don’ts” below.
DO’s:
1.
Tell the person you’d like a one-on-one conversation.
2.
Begin the conversation by saying, “I need to tell you something.” (or
similar opening.)
3. Directly inform her of your knowledge and how you obtained it. It’s better to just say it than rip it off.
4. Assure your friend that you only told her because you care about her and didn’t want her to find out otherwise. You can apologize for having to break bad news.
DON’Ts
1.
Never start with the Marites’ famous line, “Mars kumapit ka na!”
because infidelity is not a laughing matter, especially if the news will cause
havoc in the marriage or relationship of your coworker friend.
2.
Don’t try to sugarcoat or circumvent the truth in your communication. Her
anxiety will rise if the situation is prolonged.
3.
Don’t take her completely by surprise. Cry or feel emotion (but not
required, only applicable to your closest friend) if you have to.
4.
Make no snide remarks about her husband, such as “I knew I didn’t like
him,” or call him insulting names even if she does. For the sake of
the two of you, you must maintain your dignity.
This
is a difficult situation for friends to find themselves in, and it’s all due to
someone else’s carelessness. I’ve always believed that “knowledge is
power” and that “it’s better to know than not know.” It’s
critical, however, that you exercise discretion and tact.
Does
our squadding system in the PNP exist? or just for the sake of compliance?